The past few weeks have been a heavy weight on the heart. My mother in law, who has courageously battled cancer for many years has decided on a medically assisted death.
I can’t agree or disagree with this because I have never experienced this before. What I can say is I am proud of her decision. I admire her strength to be able to make that decision. And ultimately, it’s her decision and she has made it. It’s what she thinks is best.
The level of dignity in that decision is how we all should come to an end. No more pain for all. I know it seems strange to think about and many are not that fortunate. And possibly the most important thing at that time is to know how loved that person was. To be surrounded by your family, who loves you and wishes the pain would go away.
No matter the size of their family, big or small. Coming together to celebrate life and love is what matters most.
Memories really are the best thing well ever have.
I haven’t worn mascara since March, 2019. I just couldn’t seem to keep it on without it turning to a streaky mess. I’ve come to the point where I am comfortable without it now.
Grief often feels like when you’re driving down a road you’ve never been down before. Except there aren’t many signs which tell you which way to go.
I think about my brother every day. All day. I just have so many questions to ask. Not ask him but someone, or something. I guess the hardest question would be why? Why did this happen? I’ll never ever get an answer to that question. Nobody ever does. Maybe as days go by you just start to wonder less.
My phone rang just after 7 am. It was Melissa, Michael’s fiancé. I don’t exactly recall all the words, only Michael*heart attack*ambulance*hospital.
I gathered my thoughts and fears, got dressed and headed to the hospital in a daze. My brother remained in a coma and was pronounced dead 5 days later.
March 31, 2019. The day everything changed. We suffered such a tremendous loss in this world when Michael passed away. He created this gigantic impact on our tiny planet during his 44 years with us.
It has been 128 days since I have seen or talked to my brother. Trying to grasp this has been extremely hard. This is a journey I wish I could never have taken. However life throws us a ball and we try our best to move our arms and swing.
Please join this journey with me and feel free to share your special journey as well.