Category Archives: family

Smelling the Past

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Recently I got to thinking about things that prompt a memory. A song, a movie or even a smell.

And sometimes, for that brief moment you can actually smell it.

I was reminded of how a certain pizza place used to smell. Walking into the building that housed the restaurant, the aroma of the pizza flooded the air and it was all you could smell walking through.

I think we can all relate to this

Another odd memory was the smell and taste of Crystal Pepsi. Although I wasn’t a big fan of it, it certainly took me back hearing that name. I only tried it a handful of times and to me it tasted like Pop Rocks Candy. 

Remembering these smells reminds me that we had a pretty awesome childhood, our parents did what it took to make us happy and showed us how to be good people.

Is there a specific scent that reminds you of someone? Or something? Or even a place? 

I miss you so much, Michael. We all do.

Way Up!

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One of my fondest memories of my brother was when he took a Greyhound bus from Fort McMurray to Edmonton.

Anyone who knew Michael knows he could sleep anywhere and anytime. So as he would he fell asleep while the bus was driving.

If you knew him you’d also know that he is incredibly bad at waking up. Like I’m talking he  will swing at you. Which increases my awe of the stranger who became a good Samaritan in this short story.

Him and another passenger were the last people on the bus. As he came out from the bus I could see him wave goodbye to an older Asian lady. I thought maybe he knew her.

Once he was in my car and we are on our way he kind of chuckled out of nowhere and I asked him what was so funny. He told me that he had fallen asleep on the bus right at the first hour of the five hour drive. And that lady had tried to wake him up once once bus stopped.

He said that the lady didn’t have very strong English skills but he kept hearing her say over and over “way up!”

Wayyyyy uppp and good morning!

I miss you so much Michael, we all do.

Birthday’s Are Good For You

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This weekend I celebrated my 43rd birthday. I use the word celebrated because that is what is expected.

What actually happened was a quick visit with the family, birthday cake and cards. Then takeout for supper followed by 13 hours of sleep. Guess I needed sleep.

Life Goals

Living my life without my brother was never something I imagined I’d be doing at such a young age. There is so much pressure for me to celebrate each and every year without him.

I miss you so much Michael. We all do.

Just Don’t…

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Make eye contact with strangers.

A very long time ago I learned a valuable lesson that came into play again this morning.  While I was out running errands, I had pulled over in an empty parking to send a few texts, etc. 

After a minute or two I look up and see a car approaching me. Okay, cool, someone else is here. It is a blue Taxi. Car 555.

He slows down as he is beside me, I look over and he is staring at me. Dangit we made eye contact! He’s past me now but he stops and reverses. He is again beside my car. His window is down now.

I roll mine down and say hello. He says hello back and asks how I am. Good, I say. He asks where I live so I lie and say a few streets away. He then asks if I’m married. Then continues to ask more personal questions.

Why do men assume that when a woman literally only “looks” at them that it is an opportunity to talk as if there was interest?

I simply made eye contact in a public place and he went out of his way to come back and talk to me. I did not wave or appear to be in danger or in need of help.

I guess I’ll just go back to my anti social bubble and not look at anyone in the event I have to live my life 🙃

I’m not mad at you, 2019. Just disappointed

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What started off as a great new year surprised us all shortly in last year. Being a new year, I now have to say my brother died last year.

Wednesday March 27th, 2019 is the day he had his heart attack and he died 4 days later. March 31st, the day everything changed.

Nothing will ever be the same. Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Oiler games, summer, winter, concerts, funny show’s, one liners, jokes-good or bad. I could go on, but the point is NOTHING IS THE SAME without my brother.

I have pictures on my phone from when he was in the hospital attached to tubes, bags and monitors. I still can’t bring myself to even look at them. I took them so that when he woke up I could show him what he looked like so maybe he would understand how scared we were. Had I known that he wouldn’t recover I would never have taken them. I’m not sure I will ever look at them.

My feelings remain the same almost 10 months later. Although I am not mad about it anymore, I do still wonder why everyday. For me not understanding why it happened is the hardest. There simply is no reason. They say everything happens for a reason, but I’m not convinced. For this, there is no reasonable explanation. And I guess that’s okay.

I miss you so much, Michael. We all do.